With anticipation, Betsy Abbott waited for husband Reggie and daughter Alex Spearman to return home Monday night from the season-finale Holly Ball of the National League of Junior Cotillions Cumberland Chapter.
Betsy would want to know all about this evening for her 72 6th-grade students, who would exhibit their social and dance skills, poise, grace and etiquette in the three-month instruction classes she’s has directed since 2005.
“Cotillion and these students mean so much to her,” Alex, 29, was saying as the evening came to a close at Highland Country Club. “She does it with such poise and grace. Cotillion is her thing. She has had such a high impact on these families.”
Alex would arrive at her mother’s VanStory Hills home with every detail of the night, from the father-daughter waltz to the mother-son waltz to how the youngsters did with the cha-cha-cha and all the trappings of their own social graces.
Husband Reggie would bring something else from a surprise guest — The Order of the Long Leaf Pine, circa 1963, and the state’s highest honor for a North Carolinian, from Gov. Roy Cooper that was presented at the close of the ball by N.C. House (Dist. 44) Rep. Charles Smith and Cumberland County Superior Court Chief Resident Judge James Ammons Jr. The honor recognizes individuals who have distinguished themselves for contributions to the state and their communities through their exemplary service and exceptional accomplishments.
Taking a seat in the family den, Betsy watched as her daughter played a video of the ball on the large-screen television, first of the youngsters dancing and then the presentation from Smith and Ammons.
“She just couldn’t believe what she was seeing,” Alex says about the moment. “We watched the video three times. My dad got the award from the kitchen counter and presented The Order of the Long Leaf Pine to her while we were still in the den. She could not stop smiling.”
Betsy was up early Tuesday morning, admiring the award from the governor.
“I just cannot believe this,” she told husband and daughter.
Still, she’s basking in the honor.
“It was such an amazing surprise,” Betsy, 62, says. “I’m so grateful that Judge Ammons and Charles Smith were there to present this award. I’m so grateful.”
Disappointed, however, that she couldn’t be at the ball for what will be her finale as director of the Junior Cotillion local chapter to present awards to her students before Betsy and Reggie eventually plan to spend time at Wrightsville Beach, when he retires from working with the Fayetteville Public Works Commission.
A recent health issue kept Betsy at home Monday, as Alex presided just like her mother would have at the ball.
‘It is important’
“It has been my joy and my responsibility to make sure the current youth in our community participate in Junior Cotillion,” Betsy says. “It is important that the students receive and learn this information so that it makes them able to use these skills as they become young adults. Instead of just focusing on their phones or emails, they are actually learning to use printed pieces of paper for ‘thank you’ notes and RSVP’s. I want them to be able to go out in the community and be able to use these skills and feel confident doing so.”
Her class of 2023 would be evidence of her teaching skills.
The young women were elegant in their evening dresses; the young men dapper in their suits and tuxedos. The cotillion training, according to the local chapter website, teaches everything from telephone courtesy, acknowledgment of gifts, introductions, participation in group settings, polite conversation, paying and receiving compliments, sports etiquette, dress protocols for all occasions, good manners in and away from the home and an array of acceptable social behavior.
Youngsters learn the value of honor, dignity, respect, fair play, caring ways, accountability and good citizenship. The waltz, the foxtrot, the shag swing and the cha-cha-cha, too, and just so you’ll know, all the youngsters had all of the dance steps Monday night down to perfection, and proud parents looking on with pride.
“When I first became the director in 2005, my thought process was to serve as the director for three years, because I knew the parents and the students at that age,” Betsy says. “But it has become every single year since then. I had no idea that my directorship would continue year after year.”
Every class, Abbott says, has been a joy.
“I have loved every single year teaching these important topics to my students and then hearing from some of the students after they have become high school students, college students or young adults to notify me of how their knowledge of the topics they had learned, or their usage of the topics, as they become a new employee, has benefited them,” she says. “When Reg and I were at a Thanksgiving lunch, two young adults of the community came up to us at the table and let me know they had used the Junior Cotillion topics after they graduated and thanked me for teaching them.”
Reggie Abbott, too, could not be more proud for his wife since they met in high school and married in 1985.
“We first met at Terry Sanford High School in 1976,” he says. “I was a senior. She was a junior. She went to Carolina and I went to N.C. State. But she was my college sweetheart. I thought she was the best-looking woman I ever saw. I’m just proud of her and I think of how lucky I am to be married to her. I’m a lucky man.”
Epilogue
Good manners matter along life’s way.
Put the cell phones aways when you are dining. Shed the baseball caps at the table. Listen more to the conversations of others. Hold her hand gently on the dance floor. And, for goodness’ sake, stand when a lady enters a room. Always remember those who have helped you along your way, because there always will be that someone who was there for you long before your success. Live, if you will, by the Golden Rule, and you never will go wrong.
“I am just speechless,” Betsy was saying early Tuesday morning. “It is such an honor for me to be acknowledged for my years of being the Junior Cotillion director.”
And one more thing from Betsy to all who have been a part of her National League of Junior Cotillions Cumberland Chapter journey.
“Thank you,” Betsy wants all of you to know.
Bill Kirby Jr. can be reached at billkirby49@gmail.com or 910-624-1961.
